Depth, Strength, Power

I feel that I lose my strength, power, and glory in the idea and pressure to be kind. I feel that I judge all the powerful women in my life as bitches because of the fierce adversity that I have to the Toxic Masculine energy that perverse our beautiful feminine and the masculine world that should be balanced and graceful as well as confidently strong. When power is mixed with the ego, it is like a combination from hell. Power should be only mixed with wisdom and love.

It is hard for me to know my own power. I think it is wrong of me to show up in my relationships with my dark indigo blue power and strength. I judge myself and shame myself for not being sweet and kind. The woman is deemed wrong if she is strong. This idea has got to change. Mother Earth is strong. She is fierce. My inner truth, which I desire to bring out, is strong and fierce and takes no shit. But I have no courage to open the door for her to exist in my body, when other people are around. I am trained to believe that I am only allowed to be kind and sweet. That is probably why my TMJ pain is alive. All of my anger and un-sweetness is deeply suppressed and judged as bad.

Do I really have to limit my strength to only existing when I am alone in my bedroom? When will the women of the world, and the same trained men, stand with a straight back and start making their demands. I know so much that a woman can see what needs to change, but has had her voice and strength removed from her. How does a woman regain her strength?

I am imagining standing in my strength, and another person entering the room. I think dignity and a little something from my sacral chakra need to join the game too or else, I’m afraid, no connection with me can be made. I am independently angry and fierce. Don’t get too close. When that relationship energy from the orange sacral chakra is engaged, it is almost like my fierceness is tinged with flirtation. And the flirtation is the juice that makes things move. It is the flowing energy that my power and strength need to get things to go from point A to point B.

Maybe there is just a misconception inside my own fierceness, maybe my fierceness is influenced by toxic energy and that is why I can’t create that God connection here. I think that is true. I can sense anger and impatience associated with fierceness. I am feeling all of these emotions in my body and I’d like to invite Archangel Michael, with his blue courageous strength, to be with me and us on this paper. To remind me that All Is Well.

This topic is deep, I am excited to learn and watch this element in my life and the collective grow. If you’re reading this, I encourage you to share your comments in whatever way possible.